Sorry I’ve not blogged in ages, my life has been hectic and kind of shit. Between work dramas and finding time to have a life, it’s been a little hard to maintain a proper and effective blog. I’m currently writing this from my phone in bed, because I’m thinking about revamping the whole site. The current url will be replaced, along with most of the blog posts. Essentially, though, watch this space!

The Financial Bit

So, where I live at the moment is brilliant, and my car is awesome. But, after the accident I had a few months ago driving a friend home, I have been struggling to get together the money to pay for the repairs, let alone pay to keep everything running. It’s put me really a long way behind the eight ball, and Fluffy is not getting to retirement. I was in the awkward position in Perth recently of being fairly short of a dime, and had to call my Father for a bailout, which I haven’t done in years. This set off more than a few warning bells, and I knew the time had come to face facts. I have decided, on consultation with my parents, to:

• Move into their new house with my brother in the coming weeks
• Get my car fixed now
• Sell Fluffy
• Buy a new car with a loan from my parents

This means I will be living at home for probably about a year to get back to fighting fit for the financial world, which is going to be a little sucky, but given that my Father has become a better person in the time since his retirement in May, I am happy to suffer some of these slings and arrows. It is likely that I will have the house still with just my brother at my birthday, so I suspect a house party might be in order, and I will save a lot, and I mean A LOT, of money by doing this, even if it costs me a little sanity.

The work bit

So, I’m in a job I love two thirds of. The work I do in representing is the most awesome feeling I have ever had, and I seem to be fairly successful in negotiation and dealing with people. However, I sincerely dislike dealing with my fellow Councillors, who make me feel like shit a lot of the time. I have been elected to this role until June.

Over the last week, I was asked to consider taking on a different role that would involve more representation work and less dealing with shitty people. Well, still dealing with some shitty people, but in a different capacity. However, this position begins in January, and it is impossible to do both jobs for an overlap period. So, I guess, I have to decide whether to stay or go. If I don’t take on the new job, we’re not sure who will take it on. If I do take on the job, I’m not sure who will replace me. Mind you, I’m currently torn between worrying over this and just saying “fuck you” and walking away.

The personal stuff

On top of all this, I have been in a fairly awkward position with some men recently. I kinda fell madly in love with a boy from Perth when I was in Wollongong. I went to Perth last week, and part of my trip there was to pursue Perth Boy. Saw him once, had a lovely time. Saw him a second time, was having a mad awesome time, and looked like we were about to move into “second base” when he says he’s been sending out mixed signals and just wants to be friends. Then takes me off to a friend’s place where we watched TV, I took it careful and didn’t flirt more, tried to be friends, etc… only to be completely shut down and now he’s not responding to my messages. It put rather a sour spin on the whole trip, and I ended up coming home depressed.

I do have another gorgeous boy I want to pursue, and he lives in the markedly closer Adelaide, but all I want is a man to crawl into bed with me for cuddles and who leaves me alone most of the time. I need the physical closeness, so a friend with benefits, essentially. I am not in the right place by any means to do a real relationship, particularly if I take on the new job which involves excessive (and relationship-poor) travelling.

I dislike it when there is no clear solution for my problems, or when people don’t stick to the logical plan I set forward. It’s simple, guys, do what I want you to and just know that I am always right.

Ask me anything

Ask me anything

Sorry for the blog neglect. I promise to be blogging again soon!

In the meantime, here’s a quick poll

Janek

Ask me anything

Ask me anything

Ask me anything

Ask me anything

Ask me anything

Anyway, I see an add for a guy asking to hang out, and I respond that I would be interested in doing so. I don’t know why, I might just have been feeling lonely for a moment. But, we got in touch, and in the end he came over to mine, we watched Thank You For Smoking, which is one of my favourite films ever and he had never seen, and then we stood in my minuscule kitchen and chatted about the problems with Sydney, and then I drove him home.

It was non-sexual in every way, it was like to friends catching up for an evening together. I feel refreshed for the experience as well

Monday’s Lesson: Don’t stand anywhere where people can throw things at you. A Tomato from the third floor of an atrium hurts.

Tuesday’s Lesson: If someone doesn’t hate you, you’re not doing it right.

Wednesday’s Lesson: People don’t assume you’ve made an informed decision, even if you think it’s blatently clear that you have.

As most of the known world is aware, dear blog, I am the President of a student association. When I took on the role, I was aware that it is not all about standing on podiums, tea with the VC, and quotes in the media. About 50% of my job seems actually to be managing people. And when you have thirty people with thirty fairly sizable egos, each contending to be the most relavent person in your day, it is often hard to wade through the crap.

Last Night, we had a Council meeting. There has been growing disquiet around a number of issues, but what irritates me most is not the recognition of the problems but a systemic failure to fix them completely. Part of this problem lies in the nature of who we are as an organisation. Dispite a Council of 24, about 12 people are the ever-present student, rolling over from year to year, more part of the furnature than anything else.

It has finally been put to me this evening the way to get people to realise this. You have to spell out that you are not just dreaming up a solution, but that you have actually sat down and talked to people.

Ultimately, I feel like I am swimming in a cesspool, navagating a tender that thinks it’s an oceanliner, and with 23 captains that, whilst all blind, think they know the route better than I do.

Ask me anything

The next stop was the A-bomb dome, Peace Park, and Museum. It is repeated several times throughout, the bombing of Hiroshima at 8.15am on August 6, 1945. I have always been against war, even before I was tested by Socialists, and the site of the A-bomb dome (which used to be a city landmark & trade centre) is a reminder of this. What really got me, though, was the museum. One section had items of clothing and the audio tour told stories of the people who were in the blast – their skin melting off, their bones showing through, writhing in pain in the street, charred corpses. It went on, and on, and by the end of it I wanted to throw up. I cannot believe that anyone thought it was a good idea to do this. It was beyond an extreme action. When I came out of the exhibition, I was so moved, I wanted to do something. Then the pain kicked in, and I crumpled into a ball. Chronic pain conditions are not fun.

However, given I was with my parents, I charged headlong forward, and off to Hiroshima. Hiroshima is a beautiful city, and I recommend it to anyone with a day to spare in Japan. You only need a day, there’s not a lot to do here otherwise, but it is worth the trip.

An extract from The City of Hiroshima Peace Declaration, Mayor Tadatisho Akiba, August 6, 2009

“That weapon of human extinction, the atomic bomb, was dropped on the people of Hiroshima sixty-four years ago. Yet, the hibakusha’s suffering, a hell no words can convey, continues. Radiation absorbed 64 years earlier continues to eat at their bodies, and memories of 64 years ago flash back as if they happened yesterday.

Fortunately, the grave implications of the hibakusha experience are granted legal support. [...] The Japanese national government [...] should lead the world as standard-bearer for the movement to abolish nuclear weapons by 2020 to actualise the fervent desire of hibakusha that “No one else should ever suffer as we did”.

[...]

[W]e support President Obama and have a moral responsibility to act to abolish nuclear weapons. To emphasise this point, we refer to ourselves, the great global majority, as the “Obamajority” and we call on the rest of the world to join forces with us to eliminate all nuclear weapons by 2020. The essence of this idea is embodied in the Japanese Constitution

[...]

Once the Protocol is adopted, our scenario calls for an immediate halt to all efforts to acquire or deploy nuclear weapons by all countries, including the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, which has so recently conducted defiant nuclear tests; visits by leaders of nuclear-weapon states and suspect states to the A-bombed cities; early convening of a UN Special Session devoted to Disarmament; an immediate stare to negotiations with the goal of concluding a nuclear weapons convention by 2015; and finally, to eliminate all nuclear weapons by 2020.

[...]

To nurture this growth [in global democracy] and go on to solve other major problems, we must create a mechanism by which the voices of the people can be delivered directly to the UN. One idea would be to create a “Lower House” of the United Nations made up of 100 cities that have suffered major tragedies due to war and other disasters, plus another 100 cities with large populations, totalling 200 cities. The current UN General Assembly would then become the “Upper House”.

On the occasion of the Peace Memorial Ceremony commemorating the 64th anniversary of the atomic bombing, we offer our solemn condolence to the souls of the A-bomb victims, and, togther with the city of Nagasaki and the majority of Earth’s people and nations, we pledge to strive with all our strength for a world free from nuclear weapons.

We have the power. We have the responsibility. And we are the Obamajority. Together we can abolish nuclear weapons. Yes, we can”

uniq
The team down at Monash have began a beta website for a National Queer Online Network – uniq. It currently resides at uniq.kror.org, but as their business is finalised, it is going to http://www.uniq.org.au, a fully functional company. It is a brilliant idea, and I recommend that all Australian Uni students join in and be a part. This is an excellent way of connecting the whole of Australia into a Network, much simpler than the ongoing yahoo groups with students or no network at all. OK, so it sounds like I’m having an orgasm over it, but it is a pet favourite of mine.

OK, so that’s it. Really, I think I’ve reached the point in life where I have heard most of the ideas already and they seem to be repeating. But it was still a good conference, I enjoyed the lack of Socialists (who despise EVERYTHING), the time was well spent, and I generally just felt like it was a good time.

Kylie Minogue – Aphrodite
Kylie returns to her form with this new album, picking up on a combination of dance tracks that suit disco and slow dancing. All the Lovers, the first single off the album, is up-beat and beautiful, and I am sure it’s being spun at Stonewall more than once a night. The other tracks are not as noteworthy, but the flow across the album is lovely and makes me feel sexy. Talking off, this feels a little bit like an album you would put on when you’re going to have sex, the rhythm flows in such a way that it could match simple sexual activity. Obviously, it doesn’t flow quite so well for a BDSM session… but I don’t think she was writing for that.
Janek’s Rating – Seven Gold Hotpants

Scissor Sisters – Night Work
I love the Scissor Sisters, they have a great sound and a wonderful stage presence. This album is an excellent adventure throught their sound. Their first single, Fire With Fire, is a little routine and dull, but their other tracks are exciting, and the whole album is mixed supurbly, giving a wonderful voyage through the world of the band. The new drummer who took over from Paddy Boom fits in seemlessly with the band, which is good. Tracks like Running Out have me frequently spotted dancing around (much to the chagrin of my mother, I did this in the middle of Shinagawa Station in Tokyo). While not their best music (I still love their eponymous first album), it’s music that it exciting and I can listen to a few thousand times through.
Janek’s Rating – Eight Old Joannas

Sia – We Are Born
Sia had me in tears, quite literally, with Breathe Me at the end of Six Feet Under. So began a love affair with this Aussie Songstress. This album has no crying moments – in fact, it’s not really that good. She has a beautiful voice, but the album seems to let her down with a series of songs that haven’t clicked with me. You’ve Changed and Clap Your Hands have been put on frequently on triple J, which I don’t begrudge them, but it means the magic of the songs has gone for me. I don’t think she has the form from her first album, Colour The Small One, or even some of the moments from Some People Have Real Problems.
Janek’s Rating – Four Sweet Potatoes

Alice In Wonderland
Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, and Helena Bonham Carter. Those three names alone generally indicate a brilliant film. I remember a review, though, commenting on Mia Whatsit as Alice being a little week, and I agree completele. She had absolutely no screen presence. None. I can’t even remember what she looked like. The film stared Johnny and Helena, with Anne Hathaway being… well, Anne Hathaway, and Stephen Fry being Stephen Fry, and Alan Rickman being Alan Rickman. It was an homage to great actors in Tim Burton style. The plot was weak, the script often poor, and I didn’t care, because it had all the right people being themselves and generally having a fuckfest on the screen and I loved it.
Janek’s Rating – Seven cakes that make you shrink.

How to train your dragon
Children’s films generally irritate me. Their moral standpoint, their presence of children – why would anyone want to watch these things? Nonetheless, and despite the screaming child a few seats away, I put this on, and while I didn’t love it, I didn’t hate it. The animation was brilliant, and I liked the ingenuity shown by the boy in developing a solution to the dragon’s lack of tail wing. The moral element – Why kill when you don’t know the other person’s story – which rings true for, oh, I don’t know, EVERY WAR IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, was a little different from the usual push, be good, which was still there to a degree.
Janek’s Rating – Five dragons

There has been something tough about this whole trip, though. First, I keep seeing Howard in the men of the country. For the late-comers to my blog, Howard was my PhD supervisor who passed away quite suddenly earlier this year. He was half Japanese (from his Mother’s side), and I am sure he would have loved knowing that I was going on this trip. I think I shall write to his wife when I return to Sydney.

I had an unusual dream the other night, which I can’t remember a lot of, but I do remember a moment when I went to hide in a bathroom from Dan who was thrusting his testamer at me because it had my picture with Howard on it and a piece about his death. Goodness knows what most of that means… but I have been having unusual dreams a lot of late.

This week in Japan is supposed to be a holiday for me, but I don’t feel at rest. There is a lot going on at work that is worrying me, particularly without regular internet access I feel more stressed that I have no control over what is happening. It seems I still struggle letting go.

I’ve spoken with Jim via a facebook message. The more I think about it, the more I just want to spend time lying in bed cuddling with him.

The other thing is that this week in Japan I’ve been spending a lot of time with my brother. Basically joined at the hip. I hadn’t realised how cool he was, particularlly in spending time with me. We really are like the Odd Couple from time to time, and that is cool.

I can’t think of much else to say at the moment, so I’ll leave it there. Mostly, I am tired, stressed, and confused, but loving Japan. I think I should like to spend more time here